Friends

I saw an old friend today, incidentally my ex-girlfriend, who was doing very well at her college. This made me think about the problem I have with talking to women. If I am attracted to a girl, it is very hard to talk to them.  But if I know that I am either not interested in dating the subject or just lack the confidence to go for it, I can make small talk very well.  Strange.

Anyway, today's conversation was the first in-person conversation we'd had since we went off to college. We went to two schools very far away and tried to do the long distance thing. From a combination of stresses on both our parts, plus me being very stupid (I was far too attached, it was bad), she broke it off. Honestly, it was for the better.

She was a very hard girl to get over though.  She is kind, intelligent, incredibly beautiful, and easy to talk to. She made my senior year of high school the most fun and exciting year of highschool. She supported me in wrestling (as much as she hated to talk about it) and was became one of my best friends as well as girlfriend. I didn't realize how much I just missed talking with her until today. And while we avoided the elephant in the room today, our break up which I still wish to talk about one day, I am glad we were able to just have a conversation about our lives (sans my interruptions, I tend to do that way too often).

And if you should one day read this, Emily, I want you to know that I am so happy we had that chapter of our lives together. I'm not trying to be creepy, you made that year. I felt alive this past year and experienced more emotions than I ever have, from love to heartbreak. And while it may sound strange, I can only thank you for that opportunity. I wish you the best of life, a happy future, and I hope to hear from you again.

Would I partake in another long distance relationship? I don't think so. Would I advise against a long distance relationship for someone else? I think it depends heavily on who you are, how often you will see the person, and whether or not you have long term plans together.  Its risky, hard, and not fun. But so are breakups. I don't know.  Blah.