So it's been a strenuous the two months since I last posted. In addition to figuring out my own troubles, which fortunately have been minor, I have been absolutely exhausted after living with my friend John.
John, if you ever read this, I hope my frustrations don't hurt you.
It's been very different living with John, as opposed to being friends who hang out or talk a bunch. Having to suddenly share a majority of my home time with John, time I valued because I could spend a majority of it alone, is not what I wanted from this summer. I realize that given the context of his suicidal intentions a few months prior it is petty and selfish. He's even left me well alone, never truly intruding. But I also feel the hosts obligation to always attempt to include him when in the summer I hang out with a much different crowd of people, a group he understandably feels awkward around because he doesn't know most of them. I'm loud, I party, I'm wild, and I'm free. I let loose in the summer where during the school year I am a bit of a prude. It's hard to include JT when he knows me as I am at school, rather than in the summer.
It's hard. I hope you'll forgive me for this summer JT.
