Dead Week

Things that are finally almost done:

1. Classes
2. Preliminary Design Review
3. Final projects
4. Grading

On one hand, I cannot wait for this semester to end. On the other, I'm terrified of what I'm going to do once it finally does. That means it's finally time for me to come to terms with the fact that I'm graduating in just a few short months and I'm not sure if I'm ready. I don't have any firm plans at this point for the summer, though it seems like at least one company wants me for an internship.  Then hopefully graduate school at Purdue if I get accepted. If I don't, I'm not sure what I'll do. Maybe direct PhD at University of Washington? But if I don't get accepted to Purdue, why would they accept me there?

Ugh.

Tat has been amazing. We've spent a lot of time together this week, sometimes I wonder if its been too much, but I've thoroughly enjoyed every minute. This weekend I went to see the Zoo Lights up at Lincoln park where we spent the evening walking around in the cold, enjoying the winter lights, and visiting various animal enclosures. Some were sleeping, but the Red Pandas were wrestling and it was one of the most adorable things I've ever seen. It might have even been better than Poppy's puppies.

Looking ahead, I just submitted my COM 114 final presentation. I have a project due friday. I have a Preliminary design review Thursday. I have a meeting for PDR on monday, tuesday, and probably wednesday. I have a few homework assignments due, one on wednesday and one on tuesday of next week, and COM114 scattered around in between. So. much. fun.  

Happier Still

A lot has happened in the seven months since I last wrote here. Maybe I'll upload my journal entries since it's essentially the same as writing here.

Quick recap of my life for future Silas and anyone who's interested in my life:

1. I worked for a dope ass rocket company! Virgin Galactic was kind enough to invite me onto their team as an intern last summer.  I lived in Orange County, worked in Long Beach, and generally just had a good time. Thanks to everyone there for having me.
2. I ran another marathon. Why do I keep doing this?  It's becoming an addiction.
3. I started dating this amazing girl who seems to just enjoy me for... me. What? Is that possible? All my internal self doubt that I'm boring, instead of going away, is amplified. I ignore it though, because if I'm worried about being boring I will be boring. 
4. I'm slogging through senior design! Yay. Not yay. But yay.
5. My graduate school application is *nearly* done.  I can't wait to hit submit!
6. Fuck politics.

And that's my life in a nutshell.

Am I happy?

Right now? I dunno. I've been thinking about this a lot over the past few weeks and its largely because I'm terrified of the next phase of my life.  A phase that is rapidly sneaking up on me.  Do I go to graduate school or do I join the workforce.

I think that choice is pretty easy. I know I want to teach, so its off to graduate school for me.  What's really terrifying me is going to Purdue for another 2 years and realizing that nothing's really the same, what with many of my good friend's having graduated, or it's too much of the same given that I know so many upper class men and graduate students here. Whatever it is, I've started my application because Purdue has without a doubt the best propulsion lab in the country.

Life's otherwise really enjoyable right now. Despite having some pain in the ass classes to get through, I really enjoy what I'm studying and its really enjoyable to use the knowledge I've gained first hand.  Also, as I'm typing this my right hand has transitioned from hunting and pecking for the first time since like 3rd grade typing class and its freaking me out.  That'll be something to practice later this week when I have more time.  Wow, it feels so cool though.

Long story short, I'm more content than happy. I've got stuff to work through, I'm enjoying each day, but I'm not in place mentally or physically (lol, I've got a marathon to train for in October) that I want to be. Soon though :)

Summer soon

It's summer soon and I finally have my first internship. I can't wait to work for Virgin Galactic, but at the same time I'm not ready for this year to end. Orientation stuff for next year's incoming class is just picking up and I absolutely adore my team leaders. They're just warming up to each other, but I can tell that they're going to be a great group. I hope my guts right and not being ruled by unbridled optimism. I guess I'm always surprised when people put up with me, so it's no surprise that my orientation buddies continue to wow me. They're kind and I've grown to trust them as well as any friend I've ever had. I guess it's an insecurity, but I worry that we won't hang out next year. That'd suck.

Still, there's no reason to stress about things that haven't happened, especially when I can still make an effort to avoid it. Things I should be stressing about are the homeworks I have due next week or how I'm going to manage my travel to and from California this summer.

Until next time...